Don't Believe Everything You Read: Inside the Weekly World News
September 29, 2006 11:02
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The Weekly World News! Even if you're not familiar with the publication's name, you've certainly seen its headlines at the supermarket or your local newsstand. "Crop Circles Appear in Men's Chest Hair!" Or how about "German Scientist to Clone Five Deceased U.S. Presidents...And You Get To Pick 'Em!" And of course, "Living Elvis Writes Letter To A Fan! At Last! Actual Proof The King Is Alive!"
You think, come on. They don't really expect us to believe this. Where on earth do they come up with these stories? Are they really trying to pass this off as the truth?
Then, one day, while flipping through the TV stations, I happened to catch a chuckling talk-show host holding up a copy of Weekly World News, saying it was probably some guy having fun with his laptop. An enormous DUH echoed through my head. How couldn't I figure that one out?
This memory came rushing back of when I met somebody who actually wrote for Weekly World News. I had no idea they had an actual staff of people writing this stuff, and I figured it would be a really cool job. You could let your imagination run wild and come up with all kinds of wacky stories. Imagine what Stephen King could have done if WWN had been around when he was just getting started as a writer - that "evil clown in the sewer" story would have fit right in. Also, to the best of my knowledge, there's no disclaimer on WWN indicating that it's a parody, which may make it a bit more believable. A lot of people don't realize something's a put-on, no matter how ridiculous it is, unless you say "it's a joke" in bright screaming neon.
Once I met this WWN staffer, I started asking a bunch of questions about the publication. He couldn't answer some of them for the record because of the contract he signed with them. Apparently WWN is a well-maintained hoax where its staffers are not allowed to reveal the entire inner workings.
This writer I came in contact with goes by the nom de plume 'Freud Pachenko,' and in the spirit of WWN, he e-mailed me two sets of answers: one fairly serious, and the other in the fantastic Weekly World News style. For this article, I decided to take Pachenko's advice and mix and match the answers. What's the truth and what's a bunch of B.S.? We may never really know...
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