Introduction

The Ninja Turtles are back and without Corey Feldman.

It's been 14 years since the last "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie hit theaters, and in retrospect maybe live action was never really the way to go. I enjoyed the first movie as a kid, but I have not (perhaps wisely) gone back to revisit it. I have a feeling that like many things I enjoyed in my younger years (*cough* Voltron *cough*), my memories of it fair better to the scrutiny of the adult mind than the actual product. When I read rumors about an all CGI Ninja Turtles movie a few years ago, I was pretty pumped. Like most men in my age bracket, I'm always looking for the darker, adult take on my childhood heroes, and the early talk about the next Turtles venture was exactly that. The new "TMNT" film is not the dark take adult fans wanted, but it's not all surfer lingo and toy commercials either.

This new film takes place after the previous live action movies, so it is not a re-imagining or an origin story. Shredder is gone and the Turtles are trying to establish their own identities outside the team dynamic. Splinter (voiced by the deceased Japanese actor Mako) sent Leonardo on a vision quest around the world to learn how to be a better leader, Raphael is secretly fighting crime as the vigilante Nightwatcher, Michelangelo is entertaining at kids parties, and Donatello is doing tech support over the phone. Without Leonardo in a leadership position, the family is growing further and further apart much to the dismay of close friends April O'Neil and Casey Jones. The film opens with a Lord of the Rings-esque prologue telling the story of an ancient warrior becoming immortal and releasing 13 beasts into the world, which sets the stage for the central conflict of the movie. Cut to present day where monster sightings in New York are on the rise and the Turtles are forced to overcome their internal squabbles to save the city.

I'm not sure that the Ninja Turtles have the cultural penetration that the filmmakers expect. This movie really assumes you know a great deal about the characters going in, which is nice for those of us who do, but may alienate people coming to the movie cold. I took someone with me who knew next to nothing about the Ninja Turtles mythology, and I found myself explaining much of it (which will make the most normal person sound completely insane). I was at a loss to explain how April O'Neil Television Reporter is now April O'Neil Archaeologist, but in a movie aimed at kids, I'm not going to quibble about the canon. I remember April (voiced here by Sarah Michelle Gellar) being a bit of a damsel in distress, frequently being captured or jeopardized and in need of rescue. Now she's got her own ninja suit complete with sword and is practiced at using both. I would have preferred a good old-fashioned throw down with Shredder and the Foot Clan instead of them being reduced to hired muscle and ultimately teaming up with the turtles, but there are hints of a Shredder return in the film so I'll have to wait for a sequel.

Leonardo readies himself in the rain.

The CGI and animation are decent, but a bit inconsistent in areas. The Turtles themselves look very good, and it's apparent that much attention was lavished on their skin and accoutrement. The way light bounces off them looks very natural (there's a fight scene in the rain that is especially impressive), but the human characters have very flat, featureless skin that looks more like rubber. They're cursed with a much more cartoon aesthetic where the Turtles lean more towards the realistic. It's not distracting, but definitely noticeable. The animation in the action scenes has that cartoon speed to it where you only see the beginning and end of the motion. It's unfortunate because the action is excellent in some places, and I would have liked to enjoy all of it. Speaking of action, for a movie aimed at 10 year-old boys, there certainly seems to be a lot of dialogue and drama here. The turtles spend much of their time arguing with each other and only rarely take a break to actually battle monsters. It was kind of a treat to finally see Leonardo and Raphael fight, but at that point in the movie I was ready for them to be a team again and meet the threat head on. This film definitely needed more "mutant ninja" and less "teenage turtle".

This would be a good family film if it was a bit lighter on the story and heavier on the action and fun. It's free of blood, obscenity, adult situations, and thankfully fart jokes (the easy mode of kids movies), but the lackluster story gets in the way of what could have been a good mindless CGI video game movie. I know a lot of movie critics and art house goons use that term as a detriment, but what they are forgetting is that sometimes we just want to see CGI turtles doing karate. That doesn't necessarily make it bad. Unfortunately "TMNT" doesn't deliver a good enough story to justify so little action. If you're one of those parents who is troubled when kids entertainment "glorifies violence" by way of martial arts, then by all means avert your gaze. **WARNING: Sarcasm approaching! Raise shields!** There's nothing in this movie that will encourage a normal well-adjusted boy to do much more than throw a couple of jump kicks at his sister. And really, where is the harm in that?

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