Parrying Premature Attacks on Indy 4
May 20, 2008 11:26
It seems like only yesterday that I read the announcement of the title to the upcoming Indiana Jones film and said to myself, "Indiana Jones and the what now?" But very soon we'll all have our chance to plunder the treasures of the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and find out what, exactly, that title means. As the fourth Indy approaches I'm steadily bracing myself for the inevitable impact that comes with a much-anticipated film. I'm not worried that the movie isn't going to be good. After all I see the names Spielberg, Lucas and Ford. I see a weathered leather jacket, a brown fedora and a bull whip. I see crumbling ruins, car chases and the warehouse from "Raiders of the Lost Ark." This looks like Indiana Jones to me so what's there to worry about?
No, the impact I'm bracing for is the shrill sound of grown men screeching in unison that George Lucas, previously esteemed Nerd God who's fallen out of favor over the past 10 years, has "done it again." The accusation that Lucas has somehow soiled the collective childhood of men my age, a childhood he had a heavy hand in creating, is not something I can bear any longer. I tolerated it through the release of the "Star Wars" prequels, when it became chic to hate on Lucas, but I never joined the throngs of 30-something malcontents eager to heap scorn on Lucas for revisiting the world he created. "Toleration" will not be my policy this go-round.
When the fans turned on Lucas the Internet was their rally point. The automatic defense mechanism of the Internet - and when I say "Internet" I mean the people who populate its many forums and hotspots - when given the faintest whiff of a movie from a known quantity, such as a new Indiana Jones or a Transformers adaptation, is to treat it with extreme dislike. This Blanket of Anger policy holds until the trailers or posters are released when the strategy becomes to attack minutia.
I've never understood why the role of the Internet in the movie-fan community is that of The Hate Engine but being a frequent visitor to its haphazardly strewn webs means you learn to deal with ignorance of this nature. I can't very well defend a film I haven't seen but I feel that I should deflect a few of the more egregious complaints I've read about Indiana Jones 4. It should be noted that all of these complaints were filed before the movie was seen by anyone, another of the Internet's more curious propensities.
"Harrison Ford is too old."
Actually he isn't. Luckily for Harrison Ford he's the exact same age as Indiana Jones. If you want a new Indiana Jones film Harrison Ford is the Man. What's the alternative, to cast someone else? This isn't a character like James Bond who originated in books. Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones. It's the only way it should be done. Those of us thrilled by "Raiders of the Lost Ark" in 1981 are older, why can't Indy get older? It's more interesting to me to watch a character bear the years of his own continuity then to remain ageless in comic-book-hero form.
"They should have left well enough alone."
Really? Then why is it for the past 19 years neither Lucas nor Ford nor Spielberg has been able to do so much as go to a Stop-N-Rob for milk without someone shoving a tape recorder in their face and asking, "When are you going to make another Indiana Jones?" We've been terrorizing these three men for years to get this film made and now that they do we're going to give them a hard time about it? You can't ask for something with one hand and start punching the guy giving it out with the other. Well... I guess you can but you won't live long.
"They're only doing this because it's easy money."
Between the two of them Lucas and Spielberg's net worth is over $6 billion. No, easy money to them would be taking that sum and sticking it in the bank to build interest while living on an island and snorting cocaine out of the navels of supermodels. Instead these guys spend years of their lives creating something that might entertain a few of us for two hours. Filmmaking is difficult and there are easier ways for rich men to stay rich.
"Lucas is raping my childhood... again!!"
If the actions of a man you've never met can adversely affect your childhood then you've got bigger problems than bad movies getting made about the heroes of your youth. It's time to grow up. If "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" is the worst movie ever I'll be disappointed and see it as a missed opportunity. What I won't do is leap to my computer proclaiming that I'm considering suicide because of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. A bad Indy 4 won't diminish the other three films and it won't leave the memories of my childhood a broken ruin.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the fan community will see Indy 4 and embrace it flaws and all. Maybe this will be a time of healing. I'd like to have that kind of optimism about my fellow movie-goers but I don't. I'm not saying Indy 4 will definitely be good but I'd like to see more people expecting the best than complaining about the possibility of the worst. Expectations are always important when you go to the movies and everyone should probably rein theirs in a bit concerning Indy 4. It isn't going to change lives. It isn't going to live up to 19 years of waiting. But it might just entertain you for a few hours if you can leave your baggage at the door.
Look for our review of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" this Thursday.
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